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[sdmike1]

Hey im writing a paper on net neutrality I was hoping that some of you could give it a lookover and make sure that my garbled mess of a brain is staying coherent.

linkage

[FasterThanSleepyfish]

I'm a bit bored, and I know it sucks writing essays, so here I am!

1. Much of the language is informal, and you should refrain from using too much casual talk in your essays. One or two uses is good enough! Try not to use colloquialisms like "split the baby", too.

2. There are a few punctuation errors, and other small things that I have corrected in the sentences below.
   -"...somehow doesn’t kill net neutrality, and that we should be grateful."
   -"Whether you were a 1st grader in the most obscure backwater town, or the president of the United States, the packets you sent over the network were treated equally."
   -Would you mind defining ARPANETS purpose a bit more?
   -"Neutrality proponents claim that telecom companies seek to impose a tiered service model, in order to control the pipeline, therefore removing competition, creating artificial scarcity, and obliging subscribers to buy their otherwise uncompetitive services."

3. Finally, is that the end of the essay, or will there be more? What type of essay is it, because I don't know if you're supposed to write for informitive purposes, or if you're suposed to get a bias across. (I think its the first!)

I tried to help as much as possible! If you can skype me *newp*, I can give you some moar help.

[xenoargh]

I hope this is only a high-school level paper

1.  Network data over TCP/IP has never really been treated "neutrally", from a technical standpoint.

This is, well, just not true; by design, some things have always had higher priority than others, when hitting the major backbone routers.  I'd really suggest looking up some basic stuff about how the backbones work.

2.  Your analysis is a bit light on factual citations and could use a lot more data. 

For example, a FCC ruling isn't a "law", it's a "ruling made on one of their regulations".  This isn't quite the same thing.

3.  Sentences like, "But today, that freedom won’t survive much longer if a federal court — the second most powerful court in the nation behind the Supreme Court, the DC Circuit..."

This sentence makes me sorry for your teacher. 

Just use the correct name for the court and quit wasting words, as in:

"If the DC Circuit Court rules adversely on..." ... case cite ... "then this..." ...expert analysis... "might happen..." ...expert cite.  Short, factual, citations, to the point.

4.  Read the rules for capitalization and punctuation.  Internet is always capital I.  Titles should follow the rules.  Don't use "-" unless you know how; most of the time, you're using it to attempt to duct-tape a massive run-on sentence together, instead of backing up and writing short, coherent sentences.