You want a dwarf? There's your *** dwarf. You want some better graphics?
*** you. Dwarves can do lots of stuff. Like digging. Can you dig?
Hell no.Play Dwarf Fortress.
Awesome Mc Cool Name: The random name generator can oftentimes produce these. It can also produce some really, REALLY weird names.
One well know character was known as Cacame Apebalded, The Immortal Onslaught, providing both an awesome name, and a what the hell name. Being the Elven King of the Dwarves made his full description, 'Cacame Apebalded, The Immortal Onslaught, Elven King of the Dwarves' a surreal combination of awesome, weird, and what-the-hell.
Convection Schmonvection: The game has a complicated temperature system, yet Dwarves have no problems working right on the edge of a magma pit, in workshops made of ice.
Better yet, the game currently does not check temperature for constructed things at all. Forest fires can burn around compounds with walls built from wood. Likewise, magma hot enough to melt rocks and burn bone can be held back by a wooden wall... or an ice wall.
Only applicable to constructed walls. Natural ice will melt from lava. That's right, Dwarven Engineering is so unspeakably Badass they can even make unmeltable ice walls!
Owners of weaker computers also tend to turn the temperature off entirely to save the resources. It is not usually purposefully used for exploits, however it sometimes leads to badass moments.
Minecart Madness:
Toady One: "I set a hauler to ride a minecart to its next stop. That happened to take the dwarf down eight ramps and then up a launch ramp into an open cavern. High up in the cavern there was a wide ledge and on the ledge there was a goblin, chilling out right where I had created it. I activated the dwarf's squad, and he had just enough hang-time at the top of the flight arc to get a punch in. The goblin struck back but the dwarf jumped on to the ledge, where they continued to fight as the cart fell down into the darkness."
Our Mermaids Are Different: They're sentient and generally relatively nice if left alone. In previous versions, their bones were valuable enough that several players made a major industry regarding trapping, breeding and killing them for their bones. The developer was squicked enough that he devalued the bones in a patch once this was discovered.
Rain of Blood: This is a regular occurrence in evil biomes, when it's not raining disease inducing slime.
Guide Dang It: The game has no instructions or tutorial. Learning to play at all, and learning to build a sustainable fort even in friendly environments, all but requires one to find online guides.
Bare Fisted Monk: The Wrestling skill. Rather than Eastern Martial Arts, everyone engages in pankration. It helps that they can bodily fling Goblins.
Now that the throw command actually throws your opponent, much fun can be had. Your dwarf adventurer can now fling his goblin opponent off the mountain. Your Bronze Colossus adventurer, on the other hand, can throw his goblin opponent so far and hard that he hits a tree on the other side of the map and explodes into limbs, meat, and skin.
In previous versions, champion wrestlers could be terrifying, capable of punching a charging knight's warhorse out from underneath him, hard enough to punt the animal back 40 feet and have it explode into gristle on impact. The 6ft tall, heavily armored, highly trained knight will then rapidly find all his limbs snapped by a short, blood-and-vomit-encrusted psychopath, leaving him crippled and helpless whilst being slowly stomped to death through the protection his armour still offers against normal attack.
Hows bout that?
