Stations can be tricky, both because of their extreme range but moreso because the AI doesn't target them correctly (for some reason they prefer to target structural spurs instead of modules, and they will fire missiles into the wrong side of a partially dead one).
But that aside, my guess as to the way to make a shield wall would be to have roughly every other ship attacking the station with an "engage" order while the other half are set to escort the first half. I have NOT tested this, but I have seen good behavior from escorts. Really what is wanted here is for your own ships to bunch up together on one side of the station, which will lowed player firepower but let them go in front of each other. Perhaps a 'defend' order right in front of the station would work. I'll be honest, this is something I've never tried to actively encourage, because I want maximimum firepower on a station rather than mutual defense.
To make ships focus fire but NOT eliminate, give an "Engage" order on an enemy then assign your ships to that engage by selecting them and then right clicking the engage'd enemy.
Targeting with R makes all automatically firing guns that can shoot at the target shoot at it, and all missiles fired target it, and all fighters in 'engage' mode target it. Autofire guns that cannot fire at the target will fire at other things in range (and this can cause problems if the turrets are slow, because they'll try and switch to other targets if the R target keeps going in and out of arc).
Not asked about, but very handy:
To make ships stop chasing an enemy and go in a direction, select the ship and right click
in the direction you want it to go but much farther to make a rally point. This maxes out the "leash" on the ship and makes it actually move in that direction To make this even stronger, put an avoid order on the enemy. The avoid order may effect other ships, so be careful and be ready to remove it once its done its job. The rally point is too far, so it will need to be cancelled once the ship is engaged on the proper area. If the ship you want to avoid is faster and keeps engaging... then your ship will probably try and back away from it and get to the rally point, but its not going to do very well at it as its being harassed.
i tried to fight a hostile base today but it was so painful to watch.
i gave eliminate order, but most of my fleet was to scared to fight. so these ships that actually made an efford went in alone and of course got focussed down.
i have also seen ships chasing fighters around instead of attacking the station.
that "cant order suicide" argument is bs. NOT attacking a strong target with the fleet is the real suicide, because this is a great way to whipe. also there is the fact that ignoring orders generally is inadvisable in military operations.
but its not just that. certain builds just do not seem to work. i made a SO falcon with two reaper torpedos. when i simulate it against a target, it will just circle the target outside gun range, waiting for the shields to go down to use the "main" weapon torpedos i think.
Stations are a problem, no two ways about it. Carriers will also suicide into them instead of engaging with fighters. For the falcon - that sounds like a target group bug, thats worth posting in the bug forum. Do include the exact build (all details incluing weapon groups) and the target in the sim you were fighting.