Fractal Softworks Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Starsector 0.9.1a is out! (05/10/19); Blog post: Painting the Stars (02/07/20); Updated the Forum Rules and Guidelines (02/29/20)

Author Topic: Mundane Sector Things  (Read 1964 times)

dandystar

  • Ensign
  • *
  • Posts: 26
    • View Profile
Mundane Sector Things
« on: September 24, 2019, 09:13:38 PM »

Docking
=======

The Virgin Pirate Base
----------------------

* Space traffic controller is either high on heaven or completely absent
* When one is present, whatever the guy says is gibberish over 20th century quality radio tech with deafening static
* Half the signal lights are out
* Docking is done manually
* Air space full of debris, a big ol chunk of hyper-velocity driver just flew pass you
* Is that a dead body floating around
* Everybody cuts each other off like F150 drivers
* Floor has more holes than NY roads
* Greasy as banana peels
* Never been cleaned, needles in mid air. Free HIV offerings for every visitors
* Dangling wires that will zap you crisp
* Definitely not OSHA approved
* Thank Ludd you can't smell feces on vacuum
* Pressurization chamber is not sealed properly
* You could smell urine and sweat coming from the other side due to the draft
* Market listings are written digital screen like 22nd century peasant
* Brothel's right by the "Sectors, Pirates and Zombies" discounted space bar
* You ordered an "Unbalanced Pilum" space vodka diluted with unfiltered water to down your smuggling sorrow, on the stickiest desk you ever used

The Chad Tri Tachyon Space Station
----------------------------------

* Automatic docking procedures via Gravity Beams
* 6 Auto Pulse Cannons are pointing at your cockpit
* Great looking assistant greets you via live hologram with rigid corporate speak
* She's AI...
* You saw a 4 paragon fleet parking on the VIP dock
* Station Updates market listing on your Tripad
* There is a patch available for your tripad
* Your tripad will no longer lag when displaying ads
* Sufficiently smart Companion AI bot carries your luggage for you
* Pressurization Chamber updates you with 3 day solar activity forecasts                                                                                                 
* Hover Scooter takes you to the local market                                                                                                                           
* Big ol chandelier above the bar entrance                                                                                                                                 
* Holo-ad showing space vessel detailing service priced at 7 times your recent pirate smuggling run                                                                     
* Tenant of the bar is the legendary "Domain of Man and Beer" operating since before gate collapse
* A bottle of the most premium exclusive deluxe and luxurious "Planet Annihilator" from cycle 102 is displayed on the center of the lobby
* Whatever the price of that thing is, you can't afford it
* Check the price anyway
* 1,200,000 Credits
* You hurried up and brought just enough tri tachyon stamped supply at inflated price and left
* "Thank you for visiting Tri Tachyon Space Station today. Good news! With your recent purchases, we have determined that you are eligible for our "Corporate friend" 12 month term loan offering up to 600,000 credit at 14.66% interest rate. Please talk to our friendly loan officer for details. Aaand remember, Hegemony are [beep]. Have a wonderful day!
« Last Edit: September 24, 2019, 09:28:02 PM by dandystar »
Logged

StanT101

  • Ensign
  • *
  • Posts: 14
    • View Profile
Re: Mundane Sector Things
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2019, 11:07:40 PM »

Great!  :D
Definitely want to see your takes on Persean League and Luddic Church stations!
Logged

Cyber Von Cyberus

  • Commander
  • ***
  • Posts: 159
  • A professional Idiot
    • View Profile
Re: Mundane Sector Things
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2019, 02:48:54 AM »

Haha, that was great.
Logged
"When life gives you lemons, throw them out of the window and show life the lemonade you bought from the store yesterday"-Cave Johnson

SonnaBanana

  • Commander
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
    • View Profile
Re: Mundane Sector Things
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2019, 10:14:50 AM »

Apogee-class cruisers are so comfortable that it's easy to forget the fact that they are military spaceships.
Logged

guesswho2778

  • Ensign
  • *
  • Posts: 8
    • View Profile
Re: Mundane Sector Things
« Reply #4 on: November 04, 2019, 03:29:47 PM »

OMG! i wish this forum had a "like post" feature!
Logged

Terethall

  • Lieutenant
  • **
  • Posts: 50
    • View Profile
Re: Mundane Sector Things
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2020, 10:38:29 PM »

Sorry for the thread necro, but this inspired me and it's been long enough that I feel like there's no harm in blatantly ripping off the concept.

Hegemony Secure Market Facility 0754
----------------------
* "Welcome to Hegemony Secure Market Facility 0754. It's safer here."
* "In order to meet docking protocols, please ensure your fleet's transponder is fully functional and active before queuing for market access. Violators will be prosecuted. Hegemony military fleets and paramilitary commissioned fleets may queue in the priority lane using State Affairs Expedited Docking Application Form 503-2B."
* 107 Auto Pulse Cannons are pointing at your cockpit
* "Remember: all goods in Hegemony space are subject to inspection. Any contraband items are subject to confiscation. Every individual is subject to the Hegemony."
* After waiting in the queue to dock for 5 hours, you find yourself at 2,481st place in line to register for a 24-hour H7 Gamma Temporary Trading Visa
* Entire station appears to be made of nothing but plain concrete and steel grates
* After receiving the visa you discover that the most recent regulatory guidance allows only 85,000 credits in market activity within the prescribed 24-hour trading window before mandatory renewal application to the Office of Alien Subjects
* You can appeal your visa decision, but the wait time for appeal response is 6-36 months
* Leave
* Deactivate Transponder
* Dock using a shuttle under a 6-hour tourist visa
* Email the local Hegemony requisition officer
* A man with one robotic arm answers
* "Comrade, you have medical shipment?" He looks at you with deadly intensity
* Sweat begins to bead on your forehead
* "Yes, the legally donated organs and prescribed medical painkillers for the terminally ill are being transferred to docking bay zero-alpha-one-four-niner. Per protocol they are stamped with inspection QC pass ID zero-beta-niner-four-four."
* The comm transmission ends
* 1,478,280 credits have been transferred from an account registered on Kazeron to your personal Tri-Tachyon CreditoTM P2P cryptocurrency wallet
* 107 Auto Pulse Cannons are pointing at your cockpit
* GOING DARK


Persean League Duty-Free Mayasuran Economic Opportunity Zone
----------------------
* Everyone in the docking queue is armed to the teeth
* Can't tell if the fleet right behind you are pirates or just an Indpendent salvager
* Prerecorded automated traffic controller
* "Welcome to Mayasura, EXCEPTION: TARGET TRANSPONDER IDENT IS NULL. As you prepare to dock, please consider reviewing our automated clearinghouse for recently posted requisitions and bounties. Remember: Time is money, friend!"
* Automated clearinghouse is full of ads like "LONELY? BBY I AM RDY 4 U ALL NITE! HEAVY ARMAMENTS ACCEPTED" and "GENTLY USED TACHYON LANCE, 8-PACK, 249 CREDITS, LIMITED TIME OFFER, 100% FACTORY DIRECT, HIGHEST QUALITY GUARANTEE"
* Any commodity listing within 10% of the rolling median 3-month average price of historical listings is auto-purchased by one of 3 bots that operate in the market
* The bots have the lowest prices, so everyone buys from them
* The bots use an API that is not available to the public
* They don't ask any questions when they buy your armaments, though
* Overall 9/10 shopping experience
Logged

Terethall

  • Lieutenant
  • **
  • Posts: 50
    • View Profile
Re: Mundane Sector Things
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2020, 11:14:50 PM »

Luddic Church Mercantile Cathedral
----------------------
* The speed limit of approaching space lanes is very low
* You get the sense you don't want to get stopped by a patrol if you're not from around here
* Docking is free, but donations are "encouraged"
* There are no advertisements, of any kind
* There is only one bar, where all you can purchase is organic milk and naturally-pure spring water
* The elder who collected your "voluntary" docking donation is also in charge of "blessing" all of your cargo, in person, before you leave, surrounded by armed "peacekeepers"
* Everyone is infuriatingly friendly and wholesome, but you're sure beneath it all they're buying and selling as many recreational drugs as you are
* You try to find shady deals by striking up conversations in private comm links but everyone just ends up asking if you've heard the Word of Our Ludd and Savior
* Everything smells like your grandparents' house
* If you talk to anyone too long you end up finding out they believe Ludd is going to return and destroy all anti-matter technology within the year, or the Collapse never happened and the Domain is a myth invented by the Hegemony to turn folks away from Ludd, or Ludd died and ascended to Heaven after fighting the great artificial intelligence Enemy who still lingers in the far reaches of the sector waiting until the day of the final battle with the Church; weirdly, they all still live normal lives despite claiming to believe these things
* Cows literally everywhere
Logged

Cyber Von Cyberus

  • Commander
  • ***
  • Posts: 159
  • A professional Idiot
    • View Profile
Re: Mundane Sector Things
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2020, 05:53:58 AM »

I like it, just one nitpick : I don't think the Hegemony would ever have access to auto pulse lasers on anything other than a Sunder, all of their stations are low tech so I think Hellbores would've been more fitting.
Logged
"When life gives you lemons, throw them out of the window and show life the lemonade you bought from the store yesterday"-Cave Johnson